“Why I Don't Want to Live on Girl Island - Salon” plus 1 more

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Why I Don't Want to Live on Girl Island - Salon Posted: 18 Apr 2010 07:28 PM PDT Recently, I was having lunch with a group of women friends who only have daughters. They were bemoaning, as women at lunch love to do, the habits of their husbands. You know: the dirty clothes on the floor, the snoring, the need to own the remote. Oh yeah, and peeing into bushes because that's easier than asking directions to a gas station when you're on a road trip. "I want to live on Girl Island," my friend Carla said. "Sometimes I don't think I was meant to live with a man." I thought about this as we parted, and decided that, if I had to choose, it would definitely be Boy Island for me. I have three sons and two daughters. Nothing against girls – I love my daughters and cherish every minute I spend with them – but the boys keep me sane. Throw kids together at a picnic, and the girls circle each other, wary as cats, while the boys pick the top dog is in minutes and all play together. Girls on the school bus make each other cry with a word or a look, yet it might be weeks before you hear about it or even figure out exactly why your daughter was so upset. Boys? They're either really mad and throwing something, or so happy that they're yelling and singing in the shower. Girls do art projects without getting glue and paint all over the furniture and each other. Girls will sit in the kitchen with you, sometimes, too, and let you know what their teacher wore that day and what their English papers are about. Meanwhile, the boys say school was "uh, okay" and just want to ride their bikes, or show you how cool it is to put cereal in the ice dispenser and then hold a glass of milk under it. Most of all, boys like to puzzle over the wonders of the world. Last week I drove my 12 year-old son and his friends to the skateboard park. It was kind of like riding around with the editors of Ripley's Believe It Or Not: "Did you know that more people are killed by vending machines than by sharks every year?" "If everyone in China was chewing gum and spit it out at the same time, would there be enough gum to cover Rhode Island?" "Did the Egyptians invent glass?" "There are probably 1800 thunderstorms happening in the Earth's atmosphere right now, that we can't even see!" At the skateboard park, the boys were out of the car almost before I had it in park, donning helmets and pads and zooming off to a place that probably wouldn't exist on Girl Island: a place where 360 is a verb and you can do ollies, grinds and slides while wearing brightly colored puffy sneakers. A place where Moms, alas, can only visit for a short time before they're banished. Five Filters featured article: Chilcot Inquiry. Available tools: PDF Newspaper, Full Text RSS, Term Extraction.

Pirate Rants - East Carolinian Posted: 19 Apr 2010 07:34 PM PDT The girls here are not really "easy" -- if they were lots more guys would be getting some action I get tired of being older than the Teaching Assistants and Grad students teaching my classes. Really??!!! Walk a couple more feet and put your recyclables in the provided cans!!! You need the exercise!! Maybe you should stop sleeping around with boys with girlfriends and then maybe the guy you want to date will actually take you seriously. Why does a grown woman walk around campus with a Disney princess book bag? To the guy on the skateboard who almost ran me over by the fountain in front of Wright: Next time I will push you in the water... There's something that turns me on about having sex in Joyner that my boyfriend and I just can't resist.... Every time I see a cop while I'm on the bus for a split second I always think, "Oh poo, I don't have my seat belt on!" Due to the fact that you know nothing about relationships because you have never actually been in one, I see no reason to take your unsolicited advice. I swear my girlfriend's roommate is so crazy! It's kinda funny – cheers to mental instability and incompetency We're getting close to the end of the semester! There is an abundance of "Dear Roommate: (something negative or insulting)" rants. Patience is wearing thin. Breathe people. Relax. "Luck is coming your way today"..... I got a drinking ticket and my car got towed today, I have lost all faith in fortune cookies Dear Roommate: I cannot tell you how tired I am of hearing you talk on Skype and on the phone until 3 a.m. to guys who really don't give a crap about how great you think you are. If the lights are turned off I am clearly trying to sleep. Get some respect. Everyone Please sign this petition that is being sent to Gov Perdue Regarding our inclusion in a BCS conference (Big east/ etc). VA Tech had help from their government to get into the ACC.. This is important for the school. Show your support! GO PIRATES!! http://www.petitiononline.com/ECUnBCS/petition.html My proudest moment of the whole year was this past Friday when I saw a 90 pound girl b**ch out her ex then throw her beer in his face! CONGRATS! To the girl who said she looked great and no one hit on her: What's your name? Not. Get over yourself. Most of the girls I meet go from an 8 or 9 to a 5 when I see them smoke or I meet their conceited personality. Lucky for them 5 is pushing it, but still manageable. Heard a guy on the bus today tell someone that he and his girlfriend were engaged, but they didn't believe him. His response: "Yeah we are, check Facebook!" Oh what this world is coming to? To the boy in my 1065 math class: No one care how high you got last night or how drunk you get every night. It's college. Do some work! To the guy carrying a subway sub and smoking at the same time: Major health FAIL I wonder if you can grow weed on Farmville and sell it on Mafia Wars.... I am so happy we didn't live together last year! I was the failure huh? Last time I checked I am graduating in May and you're failing out.... SUCCESS FOR ME :) Only a few more weeks that I have to deal with you and your scummy boyfriend...peace out trashy low lives! Yes, you took the TV, but the sound also goes out on it! Thanks for doing us the favor of getting it out of the apartment! Why is a pile of throw-up still on the stairs of my apartment after 3 1/2 weeks? That is just disgusting! I'm so tired of listening to people brag on how drunk they got last night. No one cares! Get over yourself! There is more to life than drinking. The library is not your dorm room. I don't care if you have headphones on or not...but if your music is loud enough to hear across the library then it is TOO loud. I frequently think about ripping your arms off and beating you with them...but you look hot today. 80 percent of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read. Awesome! I hate when people parallel sex with maturity. I know plenty of immature sluts/man-whores and plenty of very mature virgins. So please, grow up a little people! It's not about what's in your pants! I have to decide between the hot young blonde with no apparent gag reflex and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund. Hmmm life is full of tough decisions To the couple that lives above us: I just changed my wifi to "I can hear you having sex". Just because I get up to get a cup of coffee doesn't mean you can take my chair you a-hole!!! So I heard on the news that men are slowly going back to the old days where they want to be all macho and what not. Does that mean that they will go back to being gentlemen too? I'd like to date a nice guy for once... Five Filters featured article: Chilcot Inquiry. Available tools: PDF Newspaper, Full Text RSS, Term Extraction.

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